Politeness and Intercultural Communication

The views of politeness in the different countries are different from the United States.  In Japan people are very polite; however regarding their private lives, privacy is their main concern.

Strangers often mistake their politeness as a role done with ease, sort of mechanical. "Unlike Americans, we like to visit and ask questions when we meet someone new. Japanese do not like to be questioned about their private lives"(De Mente, August 1999).   

“Most Japanese have a compulsion to make sure every foreign visitor has a good time and leaves with a good impression of the country and its people” (De Mente, August 1999).  Most foreigners are overwhelmed by this kind gesture. When the Japanese show politeness, others think only of it in terms of material things, not what comes from the Japanese’s hearts? 

The term politeness is interpreted in different ways.  Each country has its own culture, beliefs and values; therefore the word politeness means one thing to our country and something else to another country.

Three statements and behaviors Americans use which demonstrates the values placed on politeness in U.S. culture are:

(1)  The behavior of shaking hands in America is a polite gesture of friendliness.  This value shows the person is confident and friendly.

(2)  The statement, "thank you", demonstrates a polite way to say you are pleased.  "Thank you" is a polite way to express how you feel, showing gratitude.  This value shows you have good manners and respect for others.

(3)  It is considered polite to call older people, Mr. and Mrs. before their last name, instead of calling them by their first name.  This is one of the rules my parents stood by.  According to their culture it is disrespectful for a child to call a grown up by his first name.  
I am sure times have changed some by now.  This value is also a sign of respect.

Deloise

De Mente, B. L. (August 1999). Politeness Makes Perfect. NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company.